So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
