Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
