Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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