i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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