All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
