soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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