I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
