everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
