69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
