Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
sex in a hospital.. check
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
