Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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