I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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