Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
