its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
