i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
