All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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