My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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