Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
