I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
