dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
