yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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