I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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