the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
