You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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