Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
