The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
