He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
