dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
