LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
