Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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