my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
