3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
