I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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