my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
