Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
