That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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