maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
