And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
