Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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