Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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