last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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