did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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