So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize