i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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