I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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