yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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