Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
