You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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