Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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