but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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